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  • Kimberly Reese

3 Ways Self Love Can Change Your Life

One of my favorite aspects of the therapeutic process is developing goals with clients. Establishing goals is pivotal for us in therapy for many reasons, but I’ve come to rely on it as a tool in treatment to keep us on track. In doing the interpersonal work you do in therapy (and as in life), our patterns and old ways of thinking can keep us stuck. So by re-focusing on what the goal is, we are reminded and often motivated to stretch ourselves as we must in growth.


I didn’t always have such an appreciation for this part of therapy because sometimes it’s not as convenient of a process as we’d like for it to be. Sometimes it takes time and answering questions-digging through layers that you weren’t quite prepared to dig through.



But with practice, I came to both appreciate the process of developing goals and grew to understand what’s effective in helping clients clarify what their goals might be.

One of the most compelling questions is to ask yourself, “what specific ways would your life look different if you’ve achieved this goal?”. Keeping in mind that many of our goals will be ongoing and continuous and not get consumed by the idea of establishing goals solely to check it off your list.

We believe in self-care and self-love as a core value to our healing and our growth. But even after we learn and embrace self-love as a core value-we’ll still have experiences that will challenge us and potentially trigger some of those old patterns. Leaving us feeling stuck and often impacts our motivation-even when we know it works and will be good for us.


So keeping the goal in mind; here are three specific ways you’re life might look different as you make progress towards your goal of embracing self-love:


Three specific ways your life might look different as your relationship with self-love gets better:

1- You’re able to experience a greater sense of joy and contentment.

By engaging in more self-love, you allow room for your perspectives to shift, and instead of seeing things through the same lens, you always have you open yourself up to new experiences.

2- You no longer blame others for your problems.

If there’s a problem, you try and fix it. You don’t point fingers saying you aren’t where you want to be because of someone else. You are empowered to take full responsibility for your life.

3- You’re learning to let go of the wrong things in your life.

Whether it’s negative people or poor habits or a job you hate, you’re using your boundaries where you must and focused on what steps you can take to grow and work towards your goals.



Remember that growth is not a linear process; you will inevitably have challenges on your path. The next time you feel stuck, try to remember your goals and to get specific. Self-love will be critical for you on that path, so when you have moments where engaging in self-love and self-care feel challenging because of motivation or a block, try to remind yourself of how your life will be changed by it.

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Matthew 17:20

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